This Man Is Racist

This is Mississippi Congressman (D) and Homeland Security Chairman Bennie Thompson.

(No relation to the "Law & Order" actor with the hot wife, Fred Thompson.)

Why is Bennie Thompson racist? Because before several of his congressional aides left for a visit to several NASCAR tracks, he advised they get inoculations against several communicable diseases. Hepatitis being one of them.

What does this say about the type of people Bennie Thompson assumes attend NASCAR races?

And don't play the "black people can't be racist" card. Yes they can. Everyone can. Racism is one of the few things everyone of every race can practice equally.

Let's look at it this way: What if a conservative Senator told his staff to get immunized before attending a gay pride event? Or a white Congressman mandated his staff get certain preventative shots before attending a step-dancing competition between predominantly black colleges?

People would be jumping all over them. They could have valid reasons, as I'm sure Bennie Thompson thinks he does. But in this reactionary society, it doesn't matter.

So do I really think Congressman Thompson is racist? The truth is: I don't really care. I'm just having fun.

Manny Ramirez Is Awesome

By now, you've probably heard or read this from Manny Ramirez regarding the Red Sox in the ALCS:

"Why should we panic? We've got a great team. It doesn't happen, so who cares? There's always next year. It's not like it's the end of the world."

Now I've never been part of the "That's just Manny being Manny" club. But this quote is great simply because Manny Ramirez is the only person who really could get away with it.

He hasn't said a damn thing to the press all year, and when he finally says something, he gives the finger to the game and everything it stands for.

Even at its best, baseball is pretty damn boring. For everyone who bitches about soccer, at least there's constant movement in soccer. Baseball has the stillness that thuds. And it's not real concentration. It's that fake "bowling intensity" concentration. (You know, that serious look the bowlers used to get back when they showed bowling on TV every weekend). Bud Selig is like a pedophile rapist who took everything he knew about running a lackluster franchise with no fanbase and carried it over to his job as commissioner (where he's just keeping the seat warm until George W. Bush becomes the new commissioner in about a year and a half...Mark my words!).

And spare me the Bob Costas eloquence about the Great American Pasttime and the "Field of Dreams" preaching.

Baseball is boring and it's probably the one sport where you can't argue for anybody's salary.

I like Manny now. Maybe it's because how he plays contradicts what he says. He's one of the best consistent players in baseball. He brings energy and enthusiasm. He doesn't have to speak. He doesn't need a press conference. You don't care if he's best friends with or feuding with anyone on his team or anywhere else.

What he says is what A-Rod, Bonds, Jeter and a lot of others show and say in other ways on a daily basis. Give me Manny Ramirez saying he doesn't care but playing the way he does any day. I'd take it over Dice-K, who might care but can't do enough about it, ever. I'd take it over A-Rod, who only wants a ring to fulfill his sense of entitlement and enormous ego. When did he ever play like he cared? The same with (fill in way too many names here).

This statement almost makes me like Manny enough now to buy that grill he was selling a while back. Does anyone know if it's still available?

Awkward Places To Run Into Your Ex #1

There was this one time where I had this really important meeting. I was in the parking lot of the place where the meeting was taking place, about to leave my car and enter the meeting when my phone rang. It was an ex of mine who basically called just to mess my head up. And it worked. I blew the meeting and didn't get the gig.

This could happen tonight at the Indians/Red Sox game. Country music singer Danielle Peck (I've never heard of her, either) will sing the National Anthem and "God Bless America" at tonight's game in Cleveland.

Peck is an ex-girlfriend of Red Sox starting pitcher Josh Beckett.

If this isn't a genius stroke of mindfuckery I don't know what is.

The only way it could be better is if she actually sang "God Bless America...except for Josh Beckett".

(PS - I would put up a picture of Peck, but Blogger is having isses with posting photos at the moment. Google her and look at some images.)

My Picks For October 14, 2007

The Bengals over the Chiefs. If the Special Olympics had football, it would look like this game. (Yes, I'm including the coach on crutches.)

The Eagles over the Jets. And if the Special Olympics had football, this game is the one that all the Special Olympians would watch to remind themselves that there are those worse off than them.

The Bears over the Vikings. Kyle Orton sits by his phone for at least another week.

The Browns over the Dolphins. Finally! The marquis match-up we've been waiting for all season: Derek Anderson and Cleo Lemon.

The Packers over the Redskins. Jason Campbell is good. Washington has one of the best secondaries in the National Football League. BUT...They exhausted themselves beating Jesus -- I mean, Kitna -- and the Lions. And they're playing in Green Bay. And Brett Favre has the answer to the Redskins secondary:
It's called a shovel pass. And Favre has been throwing them since the 1940's.

The Titans over the Buccaneers. Coach Chucky doll (John Gruden) has done a better job with his team this year than people expected. But he's got some key players out and Tennessee is well-rested, coming off of a bye week.

The Texans over the Jaguars. Just because everyone else is picking Jacksonville.

The Rams over the Ravens. Steve McNair has officially become the black Trent Dilfer. If only the Ravens still had the same old defense. But that was many arrests ago.

The Cardinals over the Panthers. Kurt Warner vs. Vinny Testaverde. Go with the young upstart over the grizzled veteran.

The Patriots over the Cowboys. Fuck the Super Bowl. This is the Big Game of the year.

The Chargers over the Raiders. After this week's game, the last place Chargers and the first place Raiders will literally switch places in the AFC West and order will be restored in the universe. (Actually, the Broncos, with a bye week, will probably end up on the bottom. But I like the sound of that sentence).

The Saints over the Seahawks. If New Orleans loses this one, they better hope another motivational hurricane destroys the city again. That seems to get them going.

The Giants over the Falcons. Two words: Plaxico Burress. Although I almost want the Falcons to win just to prove how much they don't need Ron Mexico.

Last week I went 11-3. Let's see how I do this week.

Marion Jones Is A Liar

In her so-called "apology", Marion Jones denied knowing what was in the cream her coach told her to apply (and not tell anyone she was using).
Hmm...So an older male authority figure rubs a clear substance on her and tells her not to tell anyone. When I was a kid the same thing happened to me with one of my uncles.

Robosaurus Is For Sale

Yes, I'm talking about this guy:



He -- I'm assuming it's a "he" -- is being auctioned in January.

I wonder if the auction is going to be held on a "SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!"

For a peak at Robosaurus in action, take a look at his (again with the assumed gender) work in a recent Toyota commercial:

My Picks For Today

Arizona over St. Louis. And Matt Leinart will probably bitch about it. (What do you expect from a guy who did Paris Hilton? Class!?!)

Tennessee over Atlanta. (Not because Atlanta's so bad without Michael Vick, but just because Vince Young's so good. Vick never could win most of the games he should've if he really was the stellar QB the Falcons and NFL ticket sales departments -- and Nike! -- wanted you to believe he was.)

New Orleans over Carolina. (Just because.)

New England over Cleveland. (The Browns are better this year than they've been in a while. But the only way they'll win this is if Brady and Moss call in sick.)

Washington over Detroit. (Because I'm sick of Kitna praising Jesus. I want to see him blame Jesus for a change.)

Jacksonville over Kansas City. (KC is suffering from the little known "Curse of HBO". Go back about nine years when HBO tried a reality series about the Dallas Cowboys and look at the Cowboys record that year. You'll see what I'm saying.)

Houston over Miami. (This Dolphin team is the Bizarro world version of the '72 Dolphins. No matter what, they'll find a way to fail.)

Giants over Jets. (In the battle for bragging rights over which New Jersey-based New York team is better than Buffalo.)

Pittsburgh over Seattle. (Simply because I've felt for a long, long time that the most over-rated white player in the NFL is Elizabeth Hasselbeck's brother-in-law.)

Indianapolis over Tampa Bay. (In the battle for bragging rights over who's the better Gay Quarterback.)

San Franciso over Baltimore. (Trent Dilfer will pass for less yards than Frank Gore gets on the ground. Yet the man will still feel vindicated somehow...and remind everyone that sometimes being a good quarterback simply means just not dropping the damn ball.)

San Diego over Denver. (I've just never liked Denver. Although I do think it's nice of them to keep John Elway as their mascot.)

Green Bay over Chicago. (This is the kind of game John Madden masturbates to. That's right. I said it.)

Dallas over Buffalo. (Marv Levy is turning over in his grave.)

Last week I went 10-4. Let's see how I do this week.

Back To The Future

Gus Frerotte and Trent Dilfer are both starting this weekend.

Frerotte may face off against Kurt Warner.

The Cowboys and Packers are undefeated.

The Mets are a colossal disappointment.

The Spice Girls are touring.

What decade is this???

Miss Gossip Explains It All

This is great.

I Ain't Sayin' She A Gold Digger...

This is harsh.

The Sun-Times is reporting that Chicago Bears linebacker Lance Briggs is being sued by the mother of his three-week-old baby for child support.

The thing is: The mother and her lawyer admit that Briggs so far has been a great parent and provider. He's been more than supportive. The lawyer stated that there is no animosity, it's supposedly just all about guaranteeing the future welfare of the child.

And did I mention that the baby is only THREE WEEKS OLD!?!

I can't help but get this image in my head of an old Tex Avery-style cartoon: As soon as she found out she was pregnant, dollar sign tabs rang up from her eyes and a cash drawer sprang from her mouth along with the "ca-ching!" sound effect.

Oh...and the baby mama name is Brittini Tribbett. If her name is ever a clue on "Wheel of Fortune", wait until you hit the big money spin to guess the letter "t".

(And if you're ever on "Wheel of Fortune" and buy a vowel, you're an idiot. And if you watch "Wheel of Fortune", you're an idiot.)

Monday Morning Quarterback

In Brian Griese, the Chicago Bears may have finally found their next Mike Tomczak.

As Dan Marino gets older and his records continue to fall, he will slowly evolve into one of those more known for being IN commercials than for WHY he's in commercials. Like Dick Butkus and Bob Uecker before him.


Donovan McNabb will never be as good as everyone wants him to be and his selfish desire to be the only one in the spotlight will keep the Eagles from ever having another marquee player on the team while he's there. (See: Owens, Terrell; Garcia, Jeff). And his clothing line sucks!

Watching Kurt Warner step in for Matt Leinart in Arizona is like watching a kid sitting on his dad's lap in the car and thinking he's actually driving. Maybe one day, Leinart will be big enough to reach the pedals on his own.

Norv Turner (career coaching record 59-85-1) continues to single-handedly dismantle the San Diego Chargers. Somewhere, Ryan Leaf is laughing.


The Dallas Cowboys are so good, it's almost like they're smoking crack again!

Other sports...

With the regular season now over, Barry Bonds has reverted to his human form, mild-mannered scientist Bruce Banner.

LeBron James' wooden performance and extreme reliance on cue cards helped him to blend in perfectly with the cast of "Saturday Night Live".

The Mets collapse was self-inflicted. They just really didn't want to miss the premiere of "Cavemen" Tuesday on ABC.